Someday

Someday it might get better.
I could live a good life.
Never have problems anymore.
Just be happy and in love.
No more pain, no more trouble.
Just pure bliss.
Never wanting to just die.
Not speeding through life.
Happy just to be living.
Maybe I will be.
Someday.

Helpless

Helpless.
Nothing I can do.
I have to just sit through it.
Because I have lost control.
I can't change anything.
If I could, I would take it all back.
But I can't so I am stuck like this.
Left exposed.
Paralyzed by fear.
Fear of actually loving.
Head over heals loving someone.
I am powerless against this feeling.
I'm helpless.
Helpless.

Confusion

Confusion.
Thats all love is.

A big mess.
Making life difficult.

It just hurts.
Causes pain.

Most people end up worse off.
With a broken heart even.

But a few lucky ones end up happy.
Their lives end well.

I am not one of those people.
Love doesn't work for me.

It ends badly.
It leaves me in a terrible state.

A state of confusion.

While You Were Sleeping Excerpt

United States of America
Looks like another silent night
As we're sung to sleep by philosophies
That save the trees and kill the children
And while we're lying in the dark
There's a shout heard 'cross the eastern sky
For the Bridegroom has returned
And has carried His bride away in the night

What should I do?

What should I do?

Should I stop?
Or keep on talking?

Should I tell them?
Or just forget about it?

Should I ignore the problem?
Or face it?

Should I talk it out?
Or just ignore my friends?

Should I fight until the end?
Or give up now?

Life is just a bunch of questions.
And all anyone ever asks is,What should I do?

What if...

What if today was the last day?
The end of the world?

Would you panic?
Would you rejoice?

Would you feel like you had made a difference?
Or would you feel like you hadnt done anything?

Would you be the one screaming?
Or would you be silently crying?

Would you be glad to get out of this rotten place?
Or would you wish for more time here in this heaven?

Would you be ready to leave?
Or still mentally here?

Would you leave ahead of the crowd?
Or would you wait at the end?

Would you be ready or not?
Would you?

Unknown

Unknown.
That is what everything is.

Completely unknown.
No idea what to do.
No idea what to say.
Everything is wrong.

Everyone is mad.
The world is unhappy.
All because I tried and was wrong.
Again.

I am going to stop interfering.
Get out of the way.
Just leave.
And stop causing problems.

Stuck

Stuck.
Stuck in a rut.
Never really moving.
Always doing the same stuff.

Left.
Left behind to fend for myself.
No one else.
All alone here.

Tough.
Toughing it out on my own.
Only one person.
Surviving the storm of life.

Unchanging.
Unchanging in my ways.
Never really learning anything.
Just doing the easy things.

Crammed.
Crammed into an empty space.
Squished by air.
Squashed by nobody.

Remember.
Remembering the good.
Thinking of the friends.
Lots of friends that I used to have.

Killed.
Killed by no one.
Stuck living forever.
Forever alone in a world of emptiness.

Snow

Everywhere.
On everyone.
Cold.
Wet.
Like a giant blanket that tucks in the world at night.
Both an enemy and a friend.
Catch it on ur tongue.
Throw it at others.
Do what u want.
It doesnt care.
It will stay there.
Until it gets warmer.
Then it will leave.
Just as swiftly as it came.
Just dissapear.
But it will come again.
Next year.
When it gets cold again.
You can count on it.
Like a good friend.
It will always be there.
Ready to cover u again.
Always there to be another home.
A safe place.
An escape from the real world.
To a world of white.
White everywhere on everything.
Just white.

Run

Run.
That is all she can do anymore.
She cant think.
She cant talk.
Only run.

Run from people.
Run towards people.
Just keep running.
When she runs it doesnt matter.
Nothing matters.

Everyone else is dissapearing.
No more thoughts except for one.
Run.
Run.
Then it all comes back.

She stopped and now they are back.
All the thoughts.
All the memories.
All her problems.

They arent just her own memories.
They are all the memories of her family.
Both the bad and the ugly.
There is no good anymore.

The only thing close to good is running.
Run.
Thats what she has to do.
Run from her thoughts.

Run from everything.
If she runs far enough then she will be safe.
Until she gets there she must keep running.
Through all the pain and the problems.

Run.

Ready

I'm ready now.
Ready to leave.
All packed.
Ready to hit the road.

I cant wait.
Cant wait to leave.
Leave the problems.
Leave the troubles.

A little bit of me doesnt want to leave.
Wants to keep the friends.
Not lose anything.
But the rest knows the truth.

It knows that it wont last forever.
It knows that we will fight.
It knows i will live, but it wont be fun.
It has to leave.

I'm getting out.
Out into the real world.
I'm going now.
I'm finally ready.

Goodbye.

One Survivor in this world

She must stay here.
They might come back for her.
But until then she must wait.
Eternally in pain.
Eternally alone.

She sees a light.
Could it be someone?
Someone here to save her?
Someone to take away this misery?
Someone to shatter the silence?

But it is just a lighthouse.
She still finds hope from it.
If the light can make it through this.
This storm called life.
Then she can make it too.

She may not enjoy it.
But she will live life until it ends.
She will stay here.
Whether she is alone or with others.
She will still be here until her death.

Cursed forever to stay.
She will find a way to make it exciting.
Make it more enjoyable then it is.
She will fight this storm.
With everything she has in her.

She may be alone in this fight.
There may be no one left to help her.
No one to listen to her cries for help.
No one to dry her tears.

But she would be the one survivor.
The one human left.
The only one in the world.
Just like the lighthouse.
She would help guide anything.
Any animal, plant, or unknown thing.

She would be their lighthouse.
Their final hope in this world.
Their last thought before they died.
Their savior and their hero.

She would be the one.

Leaving

I am leaving.
Leaving the pain.
Leaving the sadness.
And leaving a little love.
Maybe it could get better.
But i don't know.
And i don't have the patience to find out.
I will miss lots of things.
Somethings may miss me.
I guess i will never know.
The people that may miss me can mourn,
But not for long because i will be happy.
I want them to be happy too.
Because i am leaving.
And i am not coming back.
No matter what anyone says.

Hold

I want to hold you.
Hold you today.
Hold you tomorrow.
Hold you forever.

I want to be held.
Held today.
Held tomorrow.
Held forever.

I want to stay here with you.
Until the ends of time.
In your embrace.
Holding forever.
Held forever.

Fading

Fading.
Disappearing.

Gone like fireworks.
They are there and bright, then they fade into nothing.

Nothing.
That's all i am anymore.

No family left.
Anyone left doesn't even notice me.

I am leaving like the wind.
I will cease to exist.

And who will notice?
When I'm gone, who will notice?

Afraid

Afraid.
A true word.
No idea what is to come.
Can't open up to anyone.
Won't let anyone in.
Scared to truly love someone.
Completely and utterly unwilling.
Worried if i do, i will lose them.
Lose every security i have worked towards.
Then i will have to be alone.
Again.
Left on my own.
Facing the world by myself.
No love for me.
I am too afraid.